is he worth it?

19 Feb

 

32741

 “I don’t make those a priority who only make me an option.” It was smooth like a razors edge and cut to the chase. All along, I was being played, a puppet on a string  by a stupid, vandictive little boy. Unfortunately and helplessly I was in love and blind. I chose not to see but now I’m awake.

I watched the confidence drain from his face and bit the side of my lip. Guilt, the stupidest emotion, surfaced inside me with a graphic plea for escape. It wanted to show how weak I am, how much I really did love him, and how jaded I’d become.  The window was my only escape. Outside, the world was calm and sunny; a friendlier place than here with him. I hated him. I loved him. He put me through hell but I welcomed it all the same. Love, a messed up, fucked up game. A bedtime story before a kiss goodnight. Boyfriends, what good are they anyway?

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