Photos taken from the set of New Moon…fucking hot!
Let me go on record that I’m not a TV junkie but last night confirmed that I am, in fact, vulnerable to this addiction. On A&E there was a back to back marathon of the hit show Intervention. For those who don’t watch television or have never heard of it, it’s about addictions from alcohol to drugs. The shows producers really deserve an award for their ability to connect the viewer to the person who is dependent. As the family and dependent shared their life story I couldn’t help but feel that this could happen to anyone, especially those who feel less than normal or comparable to the rest of society. The cameras role while they inject, drink and try to forget who they are and why they exist. The last 5 miutes is the actual intervention, where the family and dependent meet with a councillor. They express how hurt and scared they are and finally it’s up to the dependent to make the choice. The choice to live and get help or continue what they’re doing and eventually die. The show literally grabbed me by the balls and didn’t let go. It was emotionally draining to watch.
Up next was the premiere of the addictive show Obsessed, a show about Obsessive Complusive Disorder aka OCD. I’ve always joked about having OCD but this show definitely confirmed that this condition is no laughing matter. The origins of this disorder stems from a traumtic episode that has happened in someone life. Something so painful, terrifying that it has instilled a fear that can’t be ignored. It’s more than a habit and definitely more than a ritual. These people are prisioners in their own lives. Their thoughts can’t be managed or controlled and the need to do, to move, it’s more than a need – it’s literally a life or death situations…at least in their minds .
Watching these shows about disfunction obviously lead me to look inward into my own collection of disfunction and why I do them. When I’m unsure I walk. I walk miles and miles until the blisters under my feet are screaming for me to stop. My mild to moderate insomnia, something I’ve had since I was a kid, is a result of constantly thinking…worrying…obsessing. But are these things something that has prevented me from moving forward with life? I can’t completely say no because I’ve done some amazing things like travelling to Italy, writing a book, completeing college and working in the media world. In my case, and how I’ve looked at everything, these ‘limitations’ have been my spring board into action. They’re the alarm system that reminds me that I need to pay attention to what’s going on.
Seriously…seriously! Having all this free time to think and do just about anything is driving me nuts. Some things need a lot of thought but for the most part I’m stressing out for the sake of something to do! This compulsive need to have something to do has lead to several painful blisters on my feet, my skin looks like shit and let’s not talk about my insomnia. One good night of sleep is no more than three hours…at most. WTF?
Being homeless (even though it’s temperary) isn’t helping the situation. Every five days I’m sleeping in a new bed, and chances are a new city. There has certainly been pros and cons to my new living situation. Pros: I’m learning about my friends in ways I didn’t think possible. Con: I hear my friends having sex with their boyfriends. Pro: Staying with friends has given me time to prioritize my life and think about how I’m going to afford going to school. Con: Staying with friends has given me time to think a little too much about things that don’t need to be thought about.
Next week is June and I’m almost done registration for university. Another dream, I’m hoping, will be lived out this fall. I’ve always wanted to go to University of Torontoand now I am. It’s exciting because it’ll definitely give me the time and experience I need to get my book written, published and read. Speaking of which, there’s been some progress with my writing. Chapter 5 is done and I’m really pleased about it. The characters are more alive than I could ever have asked for because I’m giving myself time to think, plan and organize my thoughts and ideas. Naturally, things unravel as I write but having a destination in mind really does help with the writing process. For inspiration I’ve been reading Stephenie Meyer’s website for any writing tips. I’ll attach a few of JK ROWLING and Stephenie Meyers interviews that have inspired me to keep on writing.