I know a lot of people who won’t do things simply because they’re scared of it. It’s this fear that has paralyzed them and has ultimately held them back from attaining the joys of success. For example, my mother hates confrontation. She will avoid it at all cost. When I had decided that I was going to move to Italy I had asked her if she could watch my dog. She agreed and everything was a go. We were both excited. She loved my decision and I felt the relief of not having to worry about my dog while I’d be gone. My days became busier, with school (getting my overseas teaching certificate), researching, selling off my belongings and whole lot more that I didn’t realize that my mom had suddenly disappeared. She stopped answering her phone. When she did pick up, we’d talk for about 30 seconds then she’d let me go. I began to worry. Since I am her son, I’ve grown to know her very well. So yesterday I tried to phone her, and to my surprise she picked up. To show how long it had been since we last spoke she didn’t know that I had enrolled for my teaching course. I filled her in about the classes and the new information I had gained since our last conversation. Then the shoe dropped. She wouldn’t be able to take my dog. Her boyfriend was dead against it.
I was furious. How dare she? Suddenly all the excitement I had about this trip slowly dripped away and panic, saddness and worry surfaced. What am I going to do with my best friend? She was the only person I could trust with my dog.
That was last night. Today, is a new day. I’m sitting in a cafe in Toronto working on my blog and will soon work on my novel. THAT’S THE POINT! Life goes on and things change. I have never been able to depend on my mom for anything in my adult life. It’s not that she’s a selfish person…she’s just a coward. She’s uneducated and scared. In a way I need to thank her for this. It’s her fear that has always pushed me not to be scared of anything. This is why I’m moving to Italy because it’s scary and exciting at the same time. It’s her fear that I blog – I refuse to be invisible. And it’s her fear that I won’t miss out on an opportunity to live out a dream!
I don’t know what’s going to happen to my beloved best friend but what I do know is that I’m intelligent and compassionate. I won’t let anything bad happen to him. He will live a good life with the right family. As for my relationship with my mom…there’s nothing to say. I know her a little too well. The dream of having a good mother died a long time ago and I expect nothing from her. This is who she is. This is who I am. Without her I wouldn’t exist and if she wasn’t a coward I would have been.
by Michael Moniz
How do you set expectations in your life?
1. Take a look at what you expect of people in your life and ask yourself, “Do they know my expectations or do I assume they do”?
2. Are your current expectations true to who you are and the results you are looking for? If you’re looking for a relationship, putting “action/sex” in your profile may get you more attention online, but is it getting you the guys you are looking for?
3. Ask yourself, “Do I currently have a realistic expectation for myself?” If you don’t, how can you ask someone else to?
4. Inform people of expectations you have that are truly important to you. Think about it — can you really get mad at someone who plays a board game and loses when you never told him what was expected of him to win?
5. Get rid of expectations that are not truly who you are. Make sure your actions show exactly the person you want to be and what you want out of life. Others will naturally be attracted to you because you are painting a better picture of what you want.
I may have learned this lesson, but I still struggle with the balance now and again. It takes time to make changes in your life and your perspective. No one is perfect. You just have to take responsibility to be the best that you can be. And if you are reading this, I have no doubt you already are.
1. Drink a pint glass of water first thing in the morning. If you don’t like water on its own, squeeze some fresh lime into it.
2. Have a good breakfast. A good bowl of muesli won’t do you harm and neither will some porridge. Both are much better than a fry up.
3. Start off with at least 10 minutes of exercise. Stretch all your body’s larger muscles. Consider doing a brisk walk around the block each morning too.
4. Take in the sun light. I wake up when I see sun. Its energy, invigorating and excitement is absolutely amazing. Get up and spend a minute outside looking up in the sky taking in the morning light. Wrap up warm if it’s cold, but make sure you do it.
5. Fresh juice. I make myself a great carrot, apple and ginger juice daily. There is power in eating or drinking fruit before a meal and drinking a large glass of fresh juice is the best way to get started each day.
During my day I try to meditate at least 3 times. Once when in the morning, usually in the shower. Next, midday, this is usually right after my lunch and finally once I get home from work. Each session lasts about 5 minutes but let me tell you it’s like I had taken a 30 minute nap! So why is it so important to meditation?
To be honest, I love how it focus’ me. It doesn’t complete dissolve the stress in my life but it definitely gives me a moment to step outside of myself and think on a leveled platform. Meditation has also taught me to focus on what I’m doing, for example working out. If my mind is clear I can focus on a proper bicep curl or and ab crunch. Basically, meditation has given me the honor of getting to know me!
So how does one meditate? First off, you don’t need to be sitting crossed legged on a tallest mountain. The easiest way to benefit from meditation is to sit quietly whether it’s on your office chair or on your sofa. Make sure your spine is upright to your head because if you’re slumped you mind will drift off and you may fall asleep. Some people keep their eyes open while others close them. I prefer to close mine so I have the opportunity to truly focus on what I’m doing. If my eyes are open I’ll proper notice a dust bunny in the corner and get annoyed. Focus on your breathing. Inhale for the count of 3, hold for the count of 2 and exhale for the count of 3. If you start to feel dizzy simply open your eyes and wait for the dizziness to pass before trying agian.
It is difficult at first especially if you’re trying to meditate on a particular stressful day but the important thing is there are no right or wrongs. True, the goal in meditating is to have a clear mind but this doesn’t mean that we all need to walk around like we’re brain dead. A clear mind means that we are not filling our heads with so much crap that we overwhelm ourselves so that we stop what we were meant to do and that’s live.
Life is full of little wonders that can make us happy. The sound of a baby’s laughter, a good book, the comforting smell of a favorite old sweatshirt, and the warmth from a cup of hot tea are simple pleasures that can easily put smiles on our faces. These “little things” are easily accessible to us and can be sources for finding happiness. A key to doing so is taking the time to put those rose colored glasses from childhood back on so you can easily find the joy in all the “little things” that life has to offer.
1) each day has IS a new adventure.
2) people make the world go round without friends how invisible would our lives be?
3) there’s always room for dreamers. If we didn’t dream what wouldn’t exisit? the mona lisa, computers, planes.
4) man’s best friend. Ok some of you don’t own a dog and I’ll be the first to day that you’re seriously missing out! They’re great friends, have plenty to teach us and most importantly they always make us laugh.
5) home what ever that means. it’s there to store your cherish possessions, a place to rest and world of your own.